In general, we like confidence in people. We admire confidence because it signals to us that the person has found some peace and comfort with who they are and where they are in life. There is no confidence without self acceptance. Confidence is about knowing who you are, what defines you and what not and being at peace with that.
Yet often, people believe that being confident means that you are full of yourself. We like humility, people that don’t think themselves better than others are more accepted and admired than people who seem overly confident. Overly confident people are perceived as foolish, that they overestimate their capabilities in this world and thus are set up to fail. “I’m afraid I will seem like I am in love with myself, that’s such a disgusting trait to have” a female client of mine said. I often do believe women tend to be more scared of being confident. Many of us were often told that being quiet, humble and shy is a virtue. That boasting your talents or loving your looks is a negative thing. That is makes us look vain or unrealistic. Instead, there is nothing wrong with a confident person. The only wrong thing is that people that lack confidence struggle with the fact that they don’t have it and thus want to punish people that do.
Because self acceptance is hard. It’s not easy to face your demons or to come to terms with the limitations you have. Some of us have these ideas who we would like to be and coming to terms that we are not that person is at times hard and painful. For example, there are plenty of people out there who want to be singers because they enjoy singing, but they may not have the talent. It’s hard to come to terms with not being someone who you dream to be. It’s a learning process and painful to be confronted with it. It is therefore even more remarkable if you are able to be faced with your shortcomings and come out loving it.
Another thing people don’t understand is that you can be confident and be mindful about it. Just because you are confident, doesn’t mean you are taking something away from others.
Just because you shine your light, it does not mean you dim the light of others
You can be confident and that doesn’t mean you make others around you smaller. Your confidence will not make others judge you. Rather it will make the right people gravitate towards you. If they are people that feel threatened by your confidence, know that you can give them the compassion they can’t give themselves.
Ask yourself why you are afraid of loving yourself, and letting the world know that you do and then ask yourself, why the world would want you to not accept the person that you are.