Coaching Gone Bad

I got coached yesterday. And it was horrible.

I have friends that are coaches. It’s nice to meet other coaches, exchange what books you are reading or give each other tips on marketing initiatives. It’s a great community, one of support, collaboration and kindness. Basically how I imagine it is to have cheerleaders around you all the time. In general, coaches don’t coach outside of their coaching sessions. But if there are situations that awoke coaching, coaches tend to fall back on that and coach one another. It’s like if you were a doctor outside of the office. In general you don’t go around giving medical advice, but if someone needs medical assistance, you help out where you are needed. You don’t lead the person bleed out.

In my case, I expressed that I understand age can be an issue when a client seeks you out. It’s just my opinion, which I am happy to be corrected of. The coaching friend I spoke to though thought she picked up on something and would not let it go. She kept telling me I feel a certain way about my age and why I feel inadequate about it. No matter how much I said she was barking up the wrong tree, she would not listen.

I can’t stand this about coaches. As a coach your first and only job is to listen. So many coaches spend most of their time feeling like they either need to tell you what they think or they tell you how you should act or how your thoughts are wrong. I met a lot of coaches during my training that did the coaching program only to be able to talk about themselves and tell people about themselves. Their main goal is to hear themselves talk. Which again, is the opposite of what a coach is. You don’t see a soccer coach run on the field and show people how to kick. Rather from a distance, they build strategies and techniques that help you play your best game.

This coach made me feel helpless. She was trying to empower me but by not listening to me, but hounding her points of view at me, it made me feel invisible and wrong. It did not change my point of view and it did not change my life. Rather, it helped me understand why people are reluctant to find a coach. I hope you make better experiences.

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