Change The Way You See Failure

Even typing the words failure makes me feel intimidated and I am sure I am not the only one. Failure is seen as a lack of success, an incompetence on your part, something you were not good enough for. Something you tried and wanted to succeed at, but you were unable to. While companies have tried embracing the failure culture (mainly tech companies), encouraging people to keep experimenting and failing fast in order to learn from the mishaps, if there is only failure and no success in the long run, I doubt those companies would let you continue to fail. It’s not an acceptance of failure, but rather a tolerance for a certain amount of failure that is being preached.

Outside the professional realm, failure is even less tolerated and not accepted at all. no one goes around blogging, tweeting or instagramming their failures. If so – only to get more shares and likes in a comical sense (I’m thinking people falling over on tik tok). Out of shame, we don’t share the exams we didn’t pass, the promotion we didn’t get or the money we lost. There is so much judgement around failure, as if failing was hard enough to admit to yourself, being judged by others adds to the pain we need to process. People only write books after they have learned from their failures and have succeeded. There is no book titled “I keep failing and it’s ok, I will probably continue to do so”. There are only books and movies about people who have stumbled onto success eventually. We only accept failure as a stepping stone to success. It’s as if we need justification or explanation for it. But that too, might not always be the case.

We should learn to accept that failing happens. It just is and it doesn’t have to be a pivotal moment in your life. Rather, like pain and suffering it will just be a part of your journey. And rather than seeing it as something shameful, you should try to start failing small to get used to the discomfort failure brings. Because living a life fear of failure is not one worth pursuing. Your life should not be dominated or driven by negative feelings, such as fear, discomfort or shame. Since you only get one, try to have positive emotions drive your life, such as curiosity or eagerness for new things or adventure. You don’t have to tell people about the time you failed at something, it’s just important you can admit it to yourself and accept that you failed – and so what. So what if something was not for you? Some people like mayonnaise with their friends some don’t. There are different things for different people and you will never know until you try it. Keep it simple, keep it small, dare to fail a little more.

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