Will I Ever Think I’m Good Enough?

Short Answer: No. Long Answer: If you keep asking that question then the answer will always be no. Because Good Enough is not a standard, it is not measurable and thus not attainable. And thus Good Enough can only be two things – either an ideal version of an unrealistic human being or who you already are, with all the things you don’t think are perfect about yourself. The way that you already are, your being, your existence is already good enough. If you would know that, you would not be asking yourself this question.

The thing is, no one starts life feeling inadequate. It is one of the traits you only develop based on by how people around you treat you and how they teach you your value. Early in life we install feelings that we linger with us until we face them head on, which is very difficult to do. It’s much harder to unlearn something than to learn it. It’s easier to start smoking than stop, or to start biting your nails than to quit biting them. Just like those addictive habits become a default setting to deal with situations, feelings become our default in certain situations. If you were constantly criticized, or belittled for being who you are, then it’s very easy to think that something is wrong with you. That you are not good enough. The thing is, people that criticized you only did so because they learned to do so to themselves. It does not make it right and does not make it ok. And it sure does not mean you should continue to feel this way.

Write down everything you think is not good enough about yourself. Your messiness, your tardiness, your lack of knowledge in a certain area… what ever it may be. Ask yourself if these are things you would stop loving someone over. Are these things that would make you push away someone and not accept them? Because this is what you are doing to yourself. There is no trait that you can have that does not make you good enough to be appreciated and loved.

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