“All of your dreams can come true – all you have to do is believe in yourself”
“If you believe in yourself anything is possible”
“Believe in yourself and you will be unstoppable”
These are just some of the quotes I scrolled across on my instagram (which is @nikafiguringitout in case you were wondering). I get the message – I should believe in myself, its not too hard to decipher. Yet what I never scroll along is – how do I start believing in myself? And – why did I stop in the first case? Clearly I am not the only one that lacks this skill, otherwise my feed would not be full of these quotes.
With anything that lacks so greatly in our minds, it can usually be brought back to childhood. In early childhood, we are told that we are not to do certain things just out of fear that we might hurt ourselves. What is mere survival turns against our belief that anything we want to do, we cannot. There’s nothing wrong with parents not wanting you to hurt yourself, for example jumping off a wall. But sometimes this fear can get extended into society norms. For example girls are told not to do certain things because its for boys (say fishing for example) and boys are told not to do certain things at it is for girls (say cooking or wearing certain clothes). What starts off as mere prevention of mortality, spills into survival inside a society and its rules. And as often as they do, rules come with limitations.
These self imposed, or society imposed limitations is what teaches us not to believe in ourselves in the first place. They also don’t stop in childhood. As we grow older we are not encouraged to start our own businesses, change the world by becoming activists, rather we are (well most of us) encouraged to fall in line with norms of the masses. Go to college, get a job, pay off your debt before you buy a house. As people struggle to even achieve this – lets be honest really tough goals – they limit themselves in believing things outside the norm are even harder. We are all installed with these fears, that it takes great courage to let go of them. They have become so reliable to us, these limitations, that they have guided us through life it is almost hard to imagine what it would actually be like if you truly believed in yourself. It takes great bravely to leave these fears behind. In all honesty, I myself am not there yet.
Let me know of your experiences!