Space around me where my soul can breathe
I’ve got body that my mind can leave
Nothing else matters, I don’t care what I miss
Company’s okay, solitude is bliss
There’s a party in my head
And no one is invited
Tame Impala – Solitude is Bliss
What a great song. If you haven’t heard it yet, please listen to it. It embodies the joy of being alone, the freedom of being by yourself and the beauty of your own company.
Being alone should be bliss. Yet I feel, so many people don’t know how to enjoy their own company. I see so many people around me try to avoid themselves by filling their time with drinking and doing something that is instagram worthy. We all want to escape sometimes yet life is about balance, and you should feel like you are spending just as much time on yourself as you need to spend the time with others. Few people do. Many fear they will feel lonely if they do.
Being lonely is something different than being alone. Alone is the absence of other people, lonely is not feeling connected to other people or yourself. Lonely is something we will all feel once in a while and the emotional state is something we all want to avoid. Yet being alone, that should be a tolerable.
So why is it so hard for so many people to be alone? When we are alone, its harder to be distracted. We tend to hear thoughts we may not want to hear, we tend to feel things we have been avoiding for a long time. Who wants to admit to themselves that they are actually worried about something illogical or who wants to admit to themselves how they truly feel about themselves?
If you can avoid anything unpleasant – why wouldn’t you? Its totally logical to try to live a life full of enjoyment. The problem with that is – no life is spared of pain. Avoiding it, will only make the pain worse and you might find the pain getting bigger and bigger. To the point were it will take over those moments when you feel you are distracted – when you are out with friends or watching a movie. You carry your life with you at all times. Your life includes those painful moments of hurt, shame and fear. If you don’t embrace them and deal with them, they will stick around with you forever.
And they don’t deserve that. Those moments don’t deserve to follow you around in your life. You deserve better and you owe it to yourself to find moments with yourself full of happiness.
The first baby step is to just ask yourself how you really feel when you are on your own. Be honest. Check in and see how you are doing. And ask yourself why you perhaps feel like you feel. That’s already a huge step. You wouldn’t want your friends to lie to you so why should you lie to yourself. You deserve great friends – including the one you can be to yourself.