Only once moving to NY did I hear the saying “Fake it till you make it”. It did not resonate with me. Rather yet, it confused me. And since then I keep getting it as advise and I can’t seem to agree with it.
The thing that bothers me most is the word “fake”. Usually I don’t tend to associate many positive feelings with fake. Especially not when it comes to people and their personalities. Hiding who you truly are is a weakness. It means you can’t accept yourself and love yourself for who you are. That much self-hate is not only self-destructive, but can often be projected or let out on to other people. If you don’t feel good inside, it’s hard to do good towards the outside.
Additionally, a person acting fact is extremely unpredictable. If a person is pretending to be someone else, they can change who they want to be every day. That just sounds exhausting to me to be honest. You never know what kind of person you will be confronted with.
I guess that’s why “fake it till you make it” doesn’t make sense to me. Why would you pretend you are ok with something when you are not? I understand the idea is for example if you are not confident, pretend to be. Yet that sounds like such a disconnect between how you feel and how you show yourself to be. That is very unhealthy. Its ok to be scared, its ok to be nervous and its ok to feel insecure or worried. Accepting it is the opposite of faking it. Accepting it for yourself means that you can deal with it. Dealing with your emotions will help you in the long run. It will help you in other situations where you are nervous again. You will be able to recognize the feeling and handle it. Growth only comes by accepting it, and still facing your struggles with it. Take steps that will help you improve in the long run. Faking it till you are making it, is just putting a band aid on a broken windshield. It’s going to do a really poor job.
Also, another reason why you should not fake it to make it is that people will notice you are faking it. As easy as it is for you to spot people when they are acting fake, that easily they notice when you are. And it’s not something people admire. Actually, on the contrary it makes people uncomfortable.
Accept your emotions. You deserve better than a fake version of yourself.